“There’s a special place in hell for women who do not help each other.” -Madeleine Albright
It’s at no surprise that women are taking the lead in our present-day American culture. This is no season, but the beginning of a long overdue movement showcasing firsthand what really happens when women stand together!
Unfortunately, female jealousy destroys women from being empowered. An antiquities product of religion and marriage that a woman can only survive with the protection of a man. So, any alluring female would be perceived as a threat to her survival if her husband were to notice her. And most disturbingly, sometimes this did not exclude her own daughters.
Today, this idea of sabotaging other women still remains a plays off of the insecurity that women are not enough on their own. They feel they need to put other women down to be enough and although it may never feel this black and white if you have ever experienced this I will allude to today’s most over sensationalized female jealousy dynamics between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj. They both countlessly preach: “I am the baddest bitch!” which means other women are less than me. This mentality obviously hurts women as a whole because it is true that more than one woman can be a genius at her craft.
As a Yoni Whisperer (a term my sister, Erin calls me) I know that ALL women possess an inner genius – their YONI. Your Yoni shapeshifts internal form kaleidoscopically on demand when in surrendered pleasure (such as an octopus) without intellectual, but with intuitive/creative. This genius skill literally can manufacturer another human being for 9 months, then vaginally deliver this human being from inside a womb to the outside world. Not to mention the phenomenon of vaginal orgasm and creating the connection through gripping with pleasure. Therefore if the Yoni is a genius then female jealousy is counterfeit as a societal illusion.
You see this behavior in our present day female rap culture where there are constantly lyrics about being the only “bad-bitch”, the “bitch” who won the fight, the “bitch” who stands alone, there ain’t no other “bitch” like me. When you look closer at this female sabotaging attitude you usually only hear one female rap artist rapping with numerous male rappers on one song. This setup is, unfortunately, communicating the message that only one female can make it at a time, only one empowered female at a time (probably because that is all this weak patriarchy can handle).
When in reality, one day very soon it will be several female rappers spitting lines of virtuosity “bitch” talk together. Being a “bitch” or being called one isn’t the disempowering part, in my opinion, because in today’s age it has come to represent a female archetype who doesn’t take shit. It is the lack of inclusion to other women that needs to be highlighted and addressed because it is hurting all women from rising. According to Iyanla, a “bitch” is a being in total control of herself. Her recent episodes of Fix my Life really are helpful for capturing the spirit of “bitch” in this sense.
I am grateful for the lessons that female jealousy and envy have taught me. I would be amiss to say I have never experienced it with other Goddesses. However, I do believe that we attract women and men, for that matter in our lives to point us in the right direction we need to go, and by “right” I mean where your highest path is most geared to take you. So either way, you are being shown through the shadow of the jealousy/envy how to address your own blockages, whether you are the receiver or giver of shadow-work in this matter.
For example, I recently felt compelled to launch our nonprofit, The Vaginal Voice Foundation in the spirit of helping women speak their truth about female sexual trauma, but most importantly aid them with the ability to transform this story into an empowering one. For example, I came into my sexuality through rape dreams I had recurrently through 10-13 years of age. Interestingly I began menstruating at 10 years old as well. Fortunately, because I was young enough to not internalize shame about it because I did not understand what in the world was happening, I went along with it and took in the full experience. It’s not that I enjoyed it, but that I knew exactly what the term sex now meant. This was my own personal narrative about sex and power. The power was that I did not feel responsible for how these demons were acting, instead, I did clearly understand that I was victim to them and better go along with it. One day I told my mother – again fortunately with no shame – I inherently understood the evilness of these demons and I could not change them. So in this revealing to my mother, she immediately called over our Pastor Torres and he prayed and sprinkled blessed water all over my room and in the corners. Lo and behold my recurring demon dreams ended. It was my first time turning sexual victimhood into empowerment.
So when I was scouting The Vaginal Voice Foundation’s Board Members I reached out to over 20 Yoni Practitioners, many good friends. And soon we had a Secretary and Vice President for our organization! Unfortunately, literally, everyone said they did not feel confident to be Treasurer, even though I explained they could quit at any time if they felt compelled to and that I would help them along the way. But still no one lunged at this role, so I assumed the responsibility in addition to being President.
These two Goddesses, Vice President, and Secretary missed scheduled phone meetings regularly and without notice each time along with other issues I discussed in detail while respecting their anonymity on our Vaginal Voice Instagram Live. But to sum it up, after commitment abandonment of the Vice President – she later said she felt pressure from me, and the Secretary saying I was “killing the magic” by finalizing our filings since they missed these meetings and I decided to get it done on my own. So unsurprisingly, not even 2 weeks into their role I asked them to return their materials and certificate of membership to this organization. What followed immediately were threats to defame my character in retaliation. What is interesting is this attempt to attack me actually empowered me -my inner bitch surfaced fiercely to protect not only my character but the whole purpose of starting this organization: empowering female sexual trauma.
One of the things I wanted to work in concert with board members was addressing the victims of R Kelly through making videos and content because there is so much pain in talking about, let alone publically, sexual trauma. Especially because these particular victims experienced brainwashing and anorexic punishment was imposed on them – something very sickening to me as a survivor of anorexia and bulimia. I will be dedicating myself to this topic more in the future! In the spirit of empowering other bad-ass-bitch Goddesses, I am sharing Teal Swan’s video about jealousy or envy if you feel it and don’t know how to deal with it.