This has happened to me many times. Meeting someone and they get super close, super fast and you’re like, “Um, should I say something?!” Yes, me, who teaches sacred sexual confidence, ha! I believe the evolution of women’s self-righteousness is growing and it is causing the country to culturally shift towards respect for women’s personal space. I believe the invasion of our personal space starts date rapes and other forms of sexual violence. It is at the moment we feel uncomfortable that we need to speak up!
After being targeted by my previous partner via his extreme systematic power dynamic, and being served a gag-order, yes I said it, an actual gag-order because I didn’t speak up for myself sooner and surround myself by the right people to really aid me against this legal-bully who has tried to keep me silent from speaking my truth regarding the very uncomfortable scenarios he coerced me into daily for many years.
Somewhat similarly, two women said that they felt uncomfortable by how Joe Biden affectionately kissed their head and rubbed noses with them years ago – they did not say anything at the time. The problem is that now it looks like these women are trying to manipulate Biden from running for president. I don’t agree with this form of call-to-action for women to speak up because it does feel like fake political theater.
Speaking up in the moment even though we are intimated is the lesson, ladies.
I believe fighting against oppression of any kind needs to happen immediately in the moment of the violation. I mean, you hear about immediate action for training animals, children, and even dealing with bullies, so why not also apply this when feeling uncomfortable – oh I know, it makes you uncomfortable.
Although I have been bashed by my own friends for being blunt, I don’t care, it needs to be said for our own safety! You need to get over your discomfort and be your own protector. Don’t expect anyone to protect you in true moments of vulnerability because people may not know they are trespassing you or they may not have your best interest at heart.
Standing up for yourself use to be done by our surrounding parents, family, friends, and ourselves! Because we live in a more social media and divided world, I have come to realize I am the only one truly responsible for being disrespected and it is on me for saying something.
After I went through one of the worst depressions in my life, I really yearned for special affectionate friendships. Nose rubbing and head-kissing are so sweet and I love these friendships. Having it around when I moved would have definitely helped to carry me feel more supported, especially because I am afraid these allegations from women years later do culturally affect men as well and they are less inclined to grab your hand, hug you, or tell you, you look beautiful out of fear of being a violator. So having this conversation up front is definitely valuable.
Avoid the backlash by speaking up now, it is easier to do instead of waiting. I have personally waited three years to talk about this gag-order and feeling scared of the repercussions, but the greatest orgasm for me now is speaking my vaginal voice, my truth!
I heard someone once say whenever someone disrespects you, its always your own fault. You must set boundaries and honor them through immediately saying something when they are crossed! It can be very nice and sweet how you say it but LET THEM KNOW. Or else if the violation goes further it is because you are communicating that behavior can proceed.
Not honoring your boundaries gives people an advantage over you because they can cross you how they like. Its true you will lose friendships, relationships, business associates, and even family members for being loyal to your own boundaries but it is the most empowering position to stand in because everyone will know they can only go so far without getting told about your boundaries and you will be safe from dangerous relationships.